Archives for posts with tag: Demon

‎Wednesday, ‎24 ‎January, ‎2024
Self-Audit:
Disconnect
lobotomize
cauterize


limply, held the hand, letting it fall outside the tub, cool the skin drying, a word for the dying, supplying, untying a hefty bag, plant a flag, smoke a cig, a stogie, eat a hoagie, life-coaching- boasting, coasting along, the man- breathes, wrests wrists bound at hand, guns akimbo, spit toothpick, hairpick, hat pin, duck pins, pinstripe suit- after style, gangsters- smoking jacket, Hugh HEffner-


Duckpins, ah. Imitation- a can of- snuff- rare fish eggs- the voice, scoifing- approving or, slowing- a husky whisper- a gjhost-voice, speaking in between breaths or other noises- frequent voices & noises-
visions, back-tracking, backpacking, a knack, hacking- hacky-sack- no PAC- lack- cut slack- rucksack- help me with my hoopsack? ja. gut. Vacay- permanent, psycho- whats going on internally-


trouble on the mind. noise- interference- emotional energy? psychic energy? a form of psychosis? Bad enough Neurosis- Necrotic? Not quite. Alright, not all- not 100%


not connecting. blockages? What- shortfall? shortcomings? Wisdom? Fierce? Value? Self?


Fears? Sorrow? Regret- Guilt, shame- negative feelings? negative self-appraisal? not totally- how accurate any? good bad or indifferent- goals?


whats going on internally? What is lacking? What is blocked? What is the feeling? Where is it? How to describe- is it lack of language? a misssing partner? or missing part?

God? Love? Money? Sex? Friends? Entertainment? Engagement? Approval? Feelings- MIssing POSITIVE feelings- encounters, outcomes- after NEGATIVE outcomes, encounters, etc- the breaks- thems, is.

Looking back, a mirror in one hand- hail, brush the hair, long, flowing- how am I not I! I am definitely not !! Ah, revelations. I’m with Johhny on this one. I’m starting with the Man in the Mirror- like Michael Jackson- Be Like Mike!

Well, you have to forget a lot- she says, long blonde hair, keeps brushing, pausing looking, something- she wears the look of a dissapointed, careworn, lovelorn, lackluster- philologist- a sigh, and back to brushing- for humor, only consideration, and a little No More Tangles- a bit of No More Tears, and remember that Ozzy had Children- Bats in the Belfry, Balfry, Bofry- Bath- BRB


Rubber Ducky, you’re my friend, Rubber Ducky- remember, Sesame Street- your childhood BEFORE it was ruined- Ah, Ruin. She who Ruins- A card- flick, Flicka- Bela Fleck & the Flecktones- Fleshtones- Remember, Makeup- When did I become a woman!? She mouths, unthinkingly, no- with considerable thought- at the mirror- I am two people- I am the Shadow, The Shadow Know- I am a third party- Am I? A separate person? Or NO PERSON!? AM I MAD?!


Flash- on the mirror- lines- why not- this is fiction- fantasy- imagination- This is a would-be exorcism- scoffs, when did I become a woman.indeed! This is humorism. This is an ISM. THIS IS THE ISM. An ISM I can get behind- now I remember- the second? party view- the rearview- I WILL GET BEHIND YOU, CHRISTIAN WOMAN- INDEED- THOUGH, I AM NOT I, and all that jazz.

JAZZ HANDS.
I GET BEHIND
BUTT OF THE JOKE
A JOKER
A CARD-


YES, that inverted heart shaped peach thing shake it like a salt shaker- cmon! good god, yall! yee haw pardner- Remember, Woody! and Woody! Making Whoopie! Yes, there’s a precedent for that. Titilating, Save the best for last? Holdouts. Handouts. Putting the Car before the Career, an Ear of Corn- Don’t forget the inuendio! Saints be praised! They come marching in….


Coming down the Mountain!
Drinking from the Fountain!


A Fountain pen
A Massive feather-
A big fancy hat-
Basically Puss in Boots.

twitch- the cat-tail- words have layers of meaning- complicated math to understand, everything- complex, human equation- naming convention- who am I? What shall be the sign? Control? Automatic? Intentional? Follow the Leader? Hate for hand & Pen- The PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD- get it?

PEN IS !? GOD!


Who am I?
A follower?
A devoteee?
a nameless, faceless-
*Herein lies the problem,* on your grave-
fireflies- grave- tombstone, pizza- remember- grave-
I see me going down, down- in the darkness- there are too many images- some I follow, some I name- without convention, without purpose- you see- that is the thing- define the will- answer the questions- what matters? Have you died? are you dead now?

DO YOU YET LIVE?
ALL THESE QUESTIONS
WAITING TO DIE


How about conjure- summons- subpoena- what is your fantasy? using your mind cleverly? wishing to be witty? wise words from a fool- a fool- do I have to be a fool- why, why, why….
why not!?


The fool would know himself- he would become wise- he or she or it- the incidence of a person- hood- personality, as an aside- apropos of nothing- the persona, mask- ego- thoughts of self- scattered images- an idea or concept- feelings- sensory apparatus- sense- objects-

MENTAL IMAGES
THOUGHTS- IDEAS
FEELINGS – SENSATIONS
OBJECTS & APPARATUS
THE SENSES & THEIR OBJECTS
OHO!


OUR HOLY ORDER
AUM!
AMN!
AH!
WHAT IS THIS!?


AM I MAD?
No, not really….
pretty sane actually=
am I lazy? unmotivated? uneducated? undisciplined? unhingerd? unmasked? unmoored? unmoved? ungood? ungodly? uni-code, omni-directional & omnidimensional- aye, I. LETTER I EYE PERIOD AYE AYE CAPT

HOW MUCH MORE CAN I UNCOMPLICATE,

I ME ME MY
ME MYSELF I
I & I
JIVA-ATMA
Soul & Supersoul
Little & Big Mind?
the Good Mind?
Lets switch- Imagery-

I MAGE

Lots of Visions- depending on visions- lots of confusion- signal to noise- actual pain- human stuff, animal level stuff- basic psychology- rudiments- fundaments- ELEMENTS- ALIMENTARY, BUTTMAN! BASIC-BASIC- ON & ON- THE DOUBLE- ASTRAL PLANE THINGS- MENTAL ACTIVITY-
This itself is too much- and not enough- its noise- signal to noise- mixed memories, metaphors, ideas, looking for answers, keys- to hit on some winning combination- oh, to win!
so, this is it.
lie down in the hole
now, finally, pink coffin and all
you finally cough and look well at your hand-
the playing cards in the hand
the cigarrette back between your lips
hat tipped- and back to the maculine imagery- switched-
oddly this person is both, male & female, BOTH ALIVE & DEAD
SCHROEDINGER’S FUCK!

this again is ‘TOO MUCH & NOT ENOUGH’

NEVER SATISFIED
CHEESE & PEPPERONI ON THE TOMBSTONE
Maybe I’m Mexican- Aculpulco Gold- Poncho VIlla- Alamo, Alameida, CALIFORNIA- GOLD RUSH

Dressed in white shirt, yellow cape- gunslinger- draws & shoots- this is what I picture, from pieces- am I shot? is it memory? is it a construct? is it a channel? is it current? am I in danger? is this me? or memory? or what? or am I shot ? and kilt- in the ground you go! dumping bodies into holes! how morbid! How easy to be the writer of horror! The challenge, is WRITING ONESELF SANE! OH, THE TASK! a ribbon tied around a thing, for memory- a basket- a tree, in a child’s hair- around a bunny’s neck- a bow- on a present- a ribbon, tied in a bow, putting your finger on the knot- the bunny-ears, tying your shoes- memories- thanks for the memories- mammaries-mmmmammy- will this force me to reincarnate!? Force? ha! there is no force! Now, my writer’s voice (internal) definitely has the Mexicali accent, to imply or suggest a very masculine mustache. dark sweaty skin, tasting around the mouth- This is, strange.

First I’m nobody, eh, trying to find a position in space-time- trying to connect or ground or understand more clearly what’s going on internally- is this the wild west? is this the American revolution? is this 2024?
What? Then, I’m a girl with long straight dirty-blonde hair,existentially brushing in the mirror- first a hand-mirror, then a fill sized oval vanity- vanity plates- is the girl’s name Vanity? Why not. What happened? Cycles- predictable, unpredictable- raw, unfocused- what- Dangerous times? More now than 400 years ago? Who’s to say?


What? Then, I’m a Mexican guy? I have no idea what’s going on- or am I lying? telling stories- directing movies- or seeking direction- all these seeming energies, chaos, as it were- first a soulmate- a nemesis- another version of myself- someone with whom I share a link- or soul-qualities- other minds, other souls- living & dead- going in and out of scenes- wardrobe changes- staging, blocking, moving- singing, speaking- SHOOTING- CUT! WHATEVER IS REQUIRED-

FIRE FOR EFFECT-
REMEMBERING THE WARZONE
ALL BLOCKED OFF
A NO MAN’S LAND
A SORT OF DEMILITARIZED ZONE
THE ZONE
THE IN-BETWEEN STATE
HACKING IT
HOING IT
A GO OF IT
GO OFF
GO ON
GONE

GONE BEYOND

ALL THIS RELIGION
PHILOSOPHY LACKING
WISDOM & UNDERSTANDING LACKING
DIRECTION & PURPOSE LACKING
DETAILS & COHESION LACKING
CAUGHT LACKING!
AND SCENE!

DEAD IN A VIDEO GAME

IMAGINE

References, POP! MANY
A GREAT & MANY THINGS
10,000 things, the WORLD
SO YOU WANT TO BE A FOOL
SO YOU WOULD BECOME WISE
WISER THAN I, MORE WORLDLY
MORE SUCCESSFUL- HAVING ACCOMPLISHED
WHAT I HAVE NOT- EXPERIENCED- HAVING
WHAT I LACK- POSSESSING- DEMON- ON GOD

HANDS UP

hit by a car might be quick like
deer in the headlights- the deadlights-
fed lights- flash back- acid flask- black out-
oil slick, matchstick, flash quick- from the pan,
to the fire- flame- blazing- kiln- use of this power-
Life & Death- REMEMBER! WAY BACK! WAY!
Swerve & crash, probably- is this current- recent- immediate? one never knows-
Does it happen? is it a car-ghost- revenants- relevance- resonance- with a place-
MOST BASIC- OCCAM’S RAZOR- REDUCTIONISTHEORY- PRIDE OF THE MIND-
OTHER VISIONs- DARK VISIONS- ENLIGHTEN- MEANING- FLASH ON MEANING-

GRADUATED UNDERSTANDING- EDUCATION- REALIZATION- A PATH FORWARD- A GOAL- OR SEVERAL- A WAY, OF ATTACKING- ENCOUNTERING, COUNTERING- ACCOUNTING FOR- ‘MY’

-MY PERSON- BASIC ATTRIBUTIONS- PERSONALITY- BASIC APPROXIMATION-
PLACE & THINGS- & STUFf- personal possessions- OWNERSHIP- OWN- WYRD.
GETTING OUT- GETTING UNSTUCK- EARTHING PRACTICES- HERMETIC PRAXIS-
PRAXEOLOGY-
GO AHEAD & ASK THE TOUGH QUESTIONS-
CHELA
APPRENTICE
JUNIOR-
YOU WILL NOT GET OVER ON
GET UP
23-32
34-43
45-54….This is definitely ‘MIDDLE AGE’ THE MIDDLE AGES! THE DARK AGES! THE GODDAMN JOKE!
NOBODY EVER KNOWS. TO KNOW IS TO NOT BE ALIVE AS A PERSON. REPLAYING THE PAST- WRESTING CONTROL- SCHEMES- IMAGES- JOKES- CARDS- CHARACTERS- AND SUCH. SUFFICE-
ANGEL, SPIRIT, PHANTOM, SHADE, SPRITE, WIGHT- WHATEVER- MAN, WOMAN, CHILD, GHOST, PERSON, SHELL, SOUL- WHATEVER, WHICHEVER, WHOMEVER- FOREVER & EVER- NEVER-
BREAKDOWN


WORDS, LANGUAGE- COMMUNICATION- EXCHANGE OF INFORMATION – YES, reading & writing- yes, speech & gesticulation, or by gesture- movements, all. BEETHOVEN. BEETS. BEATS BY DRE- ALL RIGHTS RESERVED- DON’T SUE A BROTHER ON CREATIVE COMMONS


HUNG UP- HANGUPS, HANGOUTS- HUNG LIKE OM MANI PADME- HM! and things that make ya go! Hummin’ along- Hummingbirds- flies- maggots- we need movement- we need life- life produces forms- basic- basis- BASSIST- BASED- BUILDING BLOCKS- MAYBE THAT’s DNA! MAYBE IT’S MAYBELINE? MAYBE SO MAYBE NOT- POP! CULTURE SHOCK-


Push & shove, velvet glove- inspection- PRINCE, Le Artiste- purple rain- fairly clear images of deceased celebrities- often imitated, never replicated-


Caught under wheels- and the cart wheels roll along- respect to the accomplished few, the experienced few- the wise & understanding lot- the good kind- the well-to-do- and those that know, and yet draw breath, and read with fleshy eyes, between the lines- and know the demon there- drawing it’s own wavy thorn-like lines- dark energy all the way down to the heat & the hot part, and talk about densities.

RTFB

Dear Pleasure,

Please just RTFB.

This was a poem I wrote during a class and later finished it at home. I scrapped five pages prior to finding my voice, then wrote fourteen pages of this. It’s epic poetry, totally original by me.

But it reads like stereo instructions! real men don’t need instructions!

Ach! Get Back! Nosferatus! Keep the devil at bay. Holy water, garlic, silver crosses and swords- the templar will hack them down.

The priest comes out with the wooden cross and book- he looks scared, and gulps.

He has to give a sermon to the evil ones, who have gathered, not in any church, but a courtroom.

Actually, scratch that. It’s my story and I can change whatever details I like.

Okay, this is from chapter one of something new. Now, ‘Listen-Hear’ to this !

He blesses them with holy water, “Aspergillis Domine, Exaudem honorem…”

The one, washes his face well and good in the holy water. He looks a bit like a Patrick Bateman. Queue Bael.

The Bael theme begins to Play. The freaky spider creature walks out onto this Man’s mirror, where he has chopped some lines up for him and those two White Chicks. He could murder them, but no. Bael will make me invisible, if I fashion a Lamen of Gold and wear it in his honor.

Yea, Honor. He is a great king and his seal must be in Gold.

Right.

So, Vemibael, How’s the Coke? He just Snorts. Thinks of an Elephant doing lines, and rearing up, and then trumpeting! Some water next… Ah, he remembers his past life as an Elephant. Clever lad, too. Yea, Great King. Keep up the Great Work. Next!

The Man clears his nostril, with a little bit of water, like a neti pot bit of action. Then, looking over his left shoulder at his brother, “Well, reentry is like this,”

He thinks. His Girlfriend, both their girlfriends. They all do a line each. Now everyone is zeutered. They are all coked to the gills. Oh, they’re a family of Four. I mean, the four siblings. Two Queens, Two Kings… What’s missing? Well, it really doesn’t matter their familial ties, does it?

He goes back to looking in the mirror again for a moment. He is standing above it, gazing down, and the mirror is at his feet. He sees blue sky behind his head, and there is really no ceiling, only sky. The little white rocks that get lost in the shag carpets occasionally, or crushed underfoot like so much snow, are only infinitessimal clouds in an otherwise clear sky, or fill it.

Coke is snow and clouds…? Well, not Coca Cola, man. The Crystal business of the White Chicks. Now, that’s something else. He makes a mental note about the color white, as his symbolism seems confused as the girls are distracting him with their conversation. His brother suddenly interjects. They do not usually speak such things aloud in mixed company.

It’s a crowded but quiet room. A hush lies fallow over an undead audience. We return to the Church steps, recently washed in sterile urine. “We watched the lady scrubbing them” Thinks a nearby thrall. The Master directs their thoughts, more than cleverly, Slyly, oh more than that, even. Sinister fiends! Back! Ack! Shadowy hands reach out for him. He comes down the stairs, holding the book closely, to his chest. He is the Templar himself, and the King, the Master, protected by God. He fears nothing. The Shadows disperse at his approach. They are thrown back by a more than brilliant light. Even tissues of plant matter and even stone are disintegrated at the coming of his Auric sheath. They dispense with the formalities and pounce.

One of the shadows just found itself inside a bubble, where an illusion has been a moment before. The priest simply became invisible. The bubble aura folds up into blackness, generally speaking. A tiny golden-red light persists within, but it too is damped by the shield containing it. Pertaining to anti-matter, anti-gravity, and control of the EM spectrum, technologies of magic & meditation are required, so courses at his school teach them. His favorite subject was Jurisprudence. Basic to advanced courses in self-defense were also required study. He has an appreciable grasp of the concepts of MEST (Matter-Energy-Space-Time) and holds various degrees in Kendo, Kempo, Aikido, Ninpo, and Bushido. He is a master of the Five Rings, to boot. What an Ego on that guy! What a guy! Well, he is a super-genius, producer, and manager of Time, Pain & Money, as well. Lover of a thousand women, the man with a hundred brothers- he walks alone, wakes alone, works alone. He flies solo. His wife passed away three years ago. His father and mother were killed in a plane crash. All he has left is imagination. He watches television constantly, eats bacon and pretzels with beer, with egg in it. Likes waffles and long walks on the beach. Ahem. He’s also a great liar- no, merely creative and imaginative, a fun and interesting guy. A storyteller, well read. Has a few curious hobbies, like reading, righting, sports, video games, travel, cooking, oh and Ghost & Demon hunting, as his primary occupation isn’t just song & dance, but Exorcism. He has a goal.

The Priest walks right down the steps into the thick of them. The jeering throng. The Long awaited hustle. He punishes the foes on every side. It is like a video game. The Priest appears to have a huge defensive force above and around him. The Priest is wearing ordinary clothiing. He is also a cop, secretly, carrying gun and badge under his cloak and cowl- I mean, thats robe & ring. Sword & Shield. Whatever, He’s also an undercover brother-lover with a long service record, or rap sheet. He’s a double agent, no, make that triple agent! Quadruple! Quintuple! Big Zero!

While he is thinking about this, ‘Rambone the CIA NINJA-Blade badass’ destroying evil ninja like a samurai from Hell. Then the Ninja appears right in front of him, the one that jumped down from the wall, and ran up the alley behind him, spied around the corner to see what was happening. Where was this? Detroit. Then some dogs started barking, and a car alarm was going off right around the corner. There was some more mean sounds, like the Great Beast on a rampage, smashing cars… No… Jumping onto a car hood. Hoods. The Cop was giving chase, his keys jingling. No, he was fleeing in terror. He checked his keys, and his cap. There was a great beast-shape, like a huge shadow now, looming. It struck terror into him for a moment, then he stood and gazed at it in awe, feeling really no fear, but sleepy. Having lost the will to fight, the smaller ninja could creep in and liberate what was needed, the key, or the gun, or whatever. A moment later, the cop would realize something had happened, but not be able to tell you what it was. His gun and hat were still there, but his hand was stuck on his hat. That’s strange. He could not make himself remove his hand from this hat. Grr!

A large muscular arm grabbed him by the face. A blade came out of nowhere and severed the giant arm. Actually, the muscular arm still held the cop, but, then it fell. Severed. The giant looked puzzled at the tiny person facing it. The Larger giant then smiled, the dark one.

The priest has this. There is a tire to the left of the small person, with a silvery wrench. There is a gear, with two wrenches, with a skull on the face of the Larger Gear. Then there are two smaller gears inside of that, just to the lower-right. The position of symbolism at this moment could be significant. It was a laser, perhaps. Probably like a laser-razor, or something like a light-saber. The Giant is brought under control. The severed arm, has been perfectly cauterized by the same strange energy, which must be atomic in nature. It is then reattached, when the cop will be released from the Thing- the Hand… or, that could not happen just yet. Someone is puzzled still, the cop. A question mark hangs over his head, like in the cartoon, the comic, or perhaps the thought-balloon, speech-balloon, or Video Game- Since we are thinking stealth action Ninja-Priest, or Vampire Hunter T, or something else. Detroit Rock City. School of Rock. Rock of Ages. Saint’s & Sages. Saint & Knight. Knight-Light. Second Sight. The ‘Nun of Satan’ comes forward, and says a few words through her veil. “Do you need help” She asks. “No, we’re fine.” He says. The Other He yells. “Help!” Hey. The devil turns back to me, I tap him on the chin and he looks up to the heaven, the apex where God is supposedly found. He looks down, from two angels burning in a bath, to a boiling fountain, bubbling brother, tree of blood.

Now this is strange. A ‘Center of Pestilence?” The stalwart pugilist, St. Pugnacius. Church of St. Pugnacious, and Loyola, and Mt. Hood. Carmel, or Caramel. The fat kid wants a Klondike bar. He will do anything. Kill anyone, for a Klondike bar.

The Giant drops the cop. and, now docile, turns obediently to face his new master. He is given the treat. Well, Mistress, we should say. The guy calls me, Doc. I think he means Dog. I think he knows something I don’t. I Return to my skrying pool, or crystal gazing for another long moment, and glare at the reflection of my face. First, I think I have curly hair, am I Caliban? Do I resemble the Fallen Lucifer, or Demiurge, or Logos, or is it just the eyes? Nevermind! How did vanity become narcissism? Nevermind! He definitely does not want to talk. The two angels are absorbed into the First Fallen Club-Circuit. The Giant must be Nephillim, or perhaps, some secret group. “Who’s feet are mightier than the barren stone?”

The Ninja, laughing inwardly, strolls out into the clearing, to check the car, after the man has gone back into the house. He sits there watching people practically every day. There is a park just across from a row of houses. We wonder, but we never really know if this stuff happens in reality, or what. Well, some of it is certain, but very little. It’s easy to lose the thread, especially when you feel threatened, or actually lose something important to you, be it your wife, or your head, or even just your temper. One has to manage such things more efficiently in the future. No doubt.

The Whistlers all fall upon the giant, are riding it, like vultures on a tree. It takes fewer than Seven to hold the beast firmly, but it’s punch, it’s tremendous strong arm, is very powerful. Very powerful. This arm too is held fast, extended, the Great Beast here is perfectly under control. The Mistress locks the controls, as it were, with a slim bracelet, something like a silver chain, and the mechanism of the device, which is known only to the inner circle of the 
Cult, I presuppose it. The giant is just the same man, again. Ordinary, Mortal, and back in the Hospital. The psyche ward, most likely. Once a One hath tasted The Madness, it never really goes away, does it?

He, Edgar Allen Poe, or whomever, is sitting there, clutching his head, his shaggy dark head of hair, in his hands. Syco-Skitzo, whatever. *Sniff* The dogs are sniffing around, near the floor. They found a hole in the earth, by the swampy area. One points it’s paw. There is also a cave. The Cop is using his flashlight. He is dressed in a slicker, poncho, Earth-tones. The hounds are his own. He has a companion now. His second lieutenant jogs into join him at the sight, after he himself whistled loudly, a brisk jog, becomes a trot, canter, not full gallop… Just pace yourself. She kissed my ears, the sweet little pixie-fairy, but she smoked all these drugs, All the time. Snorted them too. This isn’t good for a Cop, or a Military man, but she was his own child, his own mother, or sister, he loved her.

Now we are all confused. There was another gulp. This one could smell himself, like he was a reptile, tasting blood in his own mouth, not his own, surely. He really cared, too, mind you. He checked his gullet, his billet, what is that? What is this? Bullets and hypertext. Hacking the Divine. Unseely. Next page, new article. He goes home and reads the paper, especially the funny pages. Only reads half of one comic. The Caption, the headline, grabs his attention. He has to go to work. No more coffee or cereal. Good breakfast, dear. Kiss, kiss! She will take the kids to school then go shopping, He knows. Nothing could possibly be wrong or go wrong. No way, no how. Not in this line of duty. He stayed in school, went strait to college, then the military perhaps, then the police force? His family loves him, his wife and two kids. What a nice little home, a nice life they have together! His kids would never ever do anything Wrong. No way, no how. How perfect! Peachy, ain’t it? Idyllic? I’m confused, right?

Back to the mental hospital, the patient, criminally insane, mind you, is in special prison confinement. This is hardly fun, but he’s a dangerous, villainous madman, or at least suspected, or believed by some, to be this kind of evil, wicked, horrible, crazy person. Right? No. He is just sick, unwell, ill… The nurses suspect, he is actually the victim of a conspiracy, I think.

I sit across the aisle from and row behind behind the fat kid. I sit across from him in the auditorium, or the cafeteria, or the lecture hall, sometimes I sit up top and way behind him. My girlfriend comes in a sits next to me, as usual. I got there first and saved her seat. The Fatkid, yea he’s the one they all picked on growing up throughout grade school and junior high, high school, and even now in college. Sure, he acts normal enough. He’s strange though. He might like reading some pulp fiction, or masturbate to internet porn, or who knows, he could be a creepy stalker! Skies no limit for Fatkid speculation. Damn. Stereotyping- using both hands. Just kidding. Fatkid is one of my best friends. I always stuck up for him. Madman is my brother. He’s alright. Not crazy or evil, either one of them. I should be a cop, nah, I’m just a normal, ordinary civilian. No military. No wife, or kids, not a real business man. Not even a ninja. Just imaginative and trying to create an interesting psychodrama. That’s all…. Whew…. So… These creatures? Omagi, Nary a one is real. Go to sleep.

~EPB.

When you call upon the Gods and you get Dozens,

Do they vie and compete for your intelligence and spirit

Do they gather in a masked array, a panorama of pantheons

or do they trickle in one or two at a time, and put on a show

 

When you call upon the Gods, do you ask for anyone who will listen

Do you call them one by one by name, or do you ask for the master

The chief of all spirits, or perhaps you indicate some office or title

The First without a Second, the Undivided One, the Originator of All Things

 

Do you realize just how puny you are, if you could get a view from above

if you were even to watch the Earth from a seat on the Moon, and marvel at it’s beauty

Watch the Sun rise and Set from your lofty perch, and call the Gods from there

They lifted me on high so that I could get a better view, so that I could see from a great height

 

but it was my own climbing and striving, my own clamoring that got me to this desolate orb

Where I could wax philosophic in lower gravity, with fewer distractions, and live a thousand years

Although my sense of time has warped ever so slightly, and I have to reinvent my language

The work of gaining altitude or information on problems, people, or situations in the World

really is a never-ending climb, and repeated trips through altitudes and around the Globe

 

Everyday I have to sit and contemplate, and wonder what is real, and can my senses be trusted

This is the second problem.  The first is asking why was I born, and what makes life worthwhile?

So the answer provides another question, another immortal quandry, and is based upon various basic assumptions, like is what I see, hear, taste, smell, or touch is actually factual, with a slight margin for error, and this contemplation carries me into the second level of ascension.

 

If on the basic Earth stage, without asking such questions, or by answering them with commonplace tripe, ignoring the fact that we will die, or the possiblity that it’s all a lie

or that we may be just an accident, or that we lack some empirical evidence of God or Devil or Alien Intelligences, to please our senses and placate our consciousness or curiousity, if your thinking stops at what will you wear today, how will you dress tomorrow?

 

A child is given toys, a man is handed a gun, or another tool, and the Lot of Man seems to be this

To war unceasingly with his brother, with his neighbor, et al, and so to turn a deaf ear, a blind eye, a cold shoulder, and not lend a helping hand out of compassion, or cultivate the essential virtues of a higher being, not to angle and aim one’s soul, via the very consciousness, and medium of the mind, towards any higher altitude, unless it is to count one’s personal horde, or hoard riches, We are no better than dogs, and only slightly better than Apes, but are we really better than them?  What is the deciding factor in elevating the consciousness of Man to separate and distinguish Him from any other like-Animal or Life-form on this Great Blue Orb?

 

So the contemplation begins, of essentual dualities, of Time, of the Aethyrs and the Astral, of the Mind, Spirit, Consciousness, and All that is Abstract, and pondering definitely, how do we access and verify such things, or convey them in reality to our brethren?  How do we tap some constant source, a current of which runs through everything, a core of which exists everywhere and in everyone, and make this commonality general, and form community around it, and have proof, inarguable, evident in myriad ways, so that such a fact appears self-evident, and is no less in doubt or a matter of faith than the air we breath, or the fact that we sense it acutely.  Then the only thing left to doubt is our own sense.

 

Our sense of being one, unified totally, on this Magnificent planet, is surely in doubt, and the Gods will likely attest to the same.  Various tests may be devised, as organs of learning, or extensions of sense to sight and map the stars, or the waters, or the various other kingdoms with whom we share this Sphere, save for those still out of reach of our hands, eyes, noses, tongues, or genitals.

 

So in this paradox is an example of the animality of Man, and of that which makes him Great above an Ape or any mutt, by any pedigree or breed, the ideas of class and caste being engrained in many a motiff and herald of our forebears, and their hallmarks still bearing the ensigns, the walls some banners, and this is all an art to accompany science.  So, art is it?  How then do we distinguish Art clearly from Science, and define and delineate such things categorically, historically and with expertise, to become professional and leap ultimately upon a cutting edge, masters of our selves and shining examples to our would-be peers?  It seems not such a stretch, to make man the measure of all things, and cover the Earth with this, and count it as wisdom.

 

Further, if we accept our lot in life, our peers and cohorts, our kith and kin and all their ilk as brethren in the Family of Man, and look to resolving the lower problems first, since we are taking a top-down and grassroots movement to solutions, we have already solved half of the equation.  Half of the World’s problems are caused by Man, so half of them can be quit and dropped like bad habits, holding our brother or neighbor as kin, literally, and responsible as we are our brother’s keeper, as we are the natural holders of rights and dignity, of a legacy which includes many errors, it is our responsibility and task, it is the Great Work of Man that comes into question.  The Purpose of the entire species maybe defined individually by persons, or perhaps more by the World itself, and the Heavens above, though I need posit no actual Gods other than Us at present.  We must take responsibility because Gods other than Us will not likely fix the problems we have created.  We must eat this fruit, and step off into the abyss.  Fortunately, there is already a net in place, and ladders, and lights, and workers there, and we need fear nothing.

 

I might describe the qualties of Ethereal Gods, to be fair, and posit their true existence, in the nature of the Mind and other abstractions, but for the root problem, that many would and indeed rightly argue that our problems are either physical or mental- and belief in so many Gods, with Uncertainty- the counterpoint, or rather equipose to faith and doubt is this.  A mental problem should be mathematical, a pure abstraction, or in the nature of memory- a problem of the mind should be in determining the true nature of things, and defining them as much in terms of the Absolute as currently possible, using imagination, wit and wisdom to push the proverbial envelope, to gather children into the fold of storytelling and acting, of the literal and figurative devices of the ancient Greeks or Egyptians, or Hebrews, or Chinese, or other powerful and noble human Kingdoms, who strived together as a people and were close-knit, if due to their supremacy in one area of expertise or another, and Masters of themselves, as a people, in that niche of culture specific to them, by type and temperament.

 

I, a humble seer and scribe, at this point, need hardly mention myself, but that I am a renunciate of a certain type, unknown even to myself, yet pursuant as it were of my own tale, a legend in my own mind, a man without a flag or name that represents my highest aims, aspirations, ambitions, and their sum totality, so this is my formulation of the Great Work, which I hope in earnest to bring in line, lawfully, observing Love, Light, Liberty and Learning, as it were of that Limnal Hall of the University, the College of Man, that Invisible College, that of the Holy Ghost, and the Arcane School, and of Thelema, and I am a brother to Mankind, and Woman too, and a friend to the Earth and all it’s inhabitants, regardless of Dogma or Designation by tribe or totem or fetish or through no fault of their own. I am a student and aspirant, in some ways novice and in others adept, a beginner on one path and having traversed others, no better or worse than anyone under the Sun, in the sense of this Universal Fraternity, cofraternal and eternal, which is Man’s birthright and calling to entertain as guest, host, honorarium and emeritus, as it covers all pre and post history of Us though it is not necessarily Exclusive to Man, as he is now only a mere human being, capable of greatness but also of great frailty, of greatness comes dignity and responsibility, authenticity will have to be couched in certain definite and acceptable social graces and in moderation, as much as in the assumption and assertion of that which is fair and reasonable, agreeable to the mind and body, and also the immortal spirit.

 

We do not own anything of the sort, we are merely Caretakers and Custodians, with A body made essentially from Clay and fire, to fill temporarily a small spot in the Massive Void.  We should begin to feel a breeze upon our soul, fanning that spark which is so like a star, and remember, remember! our place in the Universe, let alone in the grand scheme of man’s ilk, his lot, his host and holy-holies, all his hemming and hawing, hemmoraging, and havoc, all this heaven and hell which man either suffers or enjoys, and be above it all, transcendental to all of it, at one within ourselves and secure in the knowledge that we are eternal.   This knowledge is secure, foresworn.  I warrant and opine that my experiences lend themselves to the same, sanely and gravely, and I can hardly thank but a few masters of wisdom, books of knowledge, life & death, drugs & sex, and experiments with my own self-being-existence, as a seeker and aspirant to the holy of holies, to reality, to the Truth, and to the Good, even if greatness demands risk, and breaking a few eggs here and there, or a few rules.   Give me one Roc, Pterodactyl or Ostritch egg and I will make you one hell of a good omelet, which might feed an entire family!  Barring the scarcity of such an egg, I will make do with Chicken.

 

Serve you I will!  To Live is to Serve!  How can we achieve love-wisdom & sympathetic-understanding, how might one be the best person she or he can be, or offer healing & liberation as needed to others, in their plight?  This was my question for myself, and I have shed all vanity, false egotism, pride, false hopes, and everything which may keep me in the glitz and glam, the dirt and grime, with fit and trimming too much one way and not enough of another, so to speak- though still it is a challenge to make that omelet of myself, the akashic egg of my aura, in terms of self-sacrifice, the highest honor and dignity I can muster, and be the most humble and yet the greatest, challenging only myself!  The choice is whether I am my own best friend or worst enemy- whether I can rightly estimate and exemplify in some way, or fairly evaluate and represent Everyman, though it is a stretch to take it at a level of gender-bias, I would represent women too, and the whole Earth, if I were to be worthy!  This is my earnest desire, to be a messenger of the Gods, a bearer of glad tidings, a psychopomp, a shaman, a dignitary, and an ambassor of goodwill.

 

I should qualify myself by my work, and through my voice, be it by hand & pen, hook & crook, sword or wand, there is a magick and a mystery to my way, by it’s very nature, as it is akin to the mystical, majestic, and oftimes altogether unknowable, secret, hidden or occult, referred to in some circles as the Tao, God or Goddess, or just as politely, reverently, worshipfully, shall I say, that I find myself finally filling a sort of niche, that I believe is not being filled by anyone else, and thus it maybe staked as a claim rightly made my own by myself, self-made and manifest, but there is another little paradox in this, and we are going to declassify, debunk, or demystify something else.

 

Gnosis means the experience of knowing, directly. I can not contend with the innumerable authors who have come before me, no, I come to follow others, and only to play the role of guide to the blind or perplexed, coach to children or the disabled, champion of the underdog or of the worthy and noble cause, and if I sacrifice myself it will be symbolically, and if I become an-hero it will be through self-sacrifice of this kind, spearing through and not sparing myself any expense, “I will create as I speak” and walk in the way of Descartes and others who Loved Wisdom.  I am a lover of Wisdom, and would be wise that understanding becomes my Lover, and this in a Sufi and Kabbalistic sense, so we may take the Abrahamic religion one step further, hand in hand, as brothers, are the patriarchies of all men the world over, and we must make honorable mention of our patriarchs, as well as matriarchs, and honor them we must, as we would our own Mothers and Fathers, whose wisdom was sound and held in good stead, knowing that like our own parents they thought of their children and of generations to come, and they considered the wisdom of their ancestors, and the fact that, as least symbolically it is a truth, that “All Men are Brothers, and God is our Common Father.”  This the masculine version of things, and holds the Yang side, as well as the Right-hand side, the White Pillar of the Temple, which is Solomon’s and attended by High Priestess and Empress, as much as male Heirophant and Emperor, although magician and fool are both gender neutral terms.  Anyone may become wise, and you will not be held apart from truth, reality, goodness, or wisdom based on your gender, or your skin color, or your land of national origin- as all these differences are being transcended immediately, and we have long sought the truth behind all these veils, and must reveal to the world-weary, the worthy and the wise, as the fool in his folly may not perceive the rationale directly, it is him that must be coached, guided, coaxed, coerced, cajoled or corralled, as he or she maybe a burden or a boon, depending on the level of wisdom and capacity to carry that burden, and the capacity of will, and that of wit, to be of sparkling jest and good cheer is service, to shoulder a load for another is service, and even a fool, in fact, ONLY a fool may become wise.

 

Therefor, we should take a lesson from the Child, who is the pure fool, and the sayings of our Fathers and of Old Maids and the tales of Old Wives, in that there is no fool like an old fool, and if one can not teach an old dog any new tricks, well if every dog has it’s day, then every generation has it’s revolution, as it relates to the circulations of Heaven & Earth, and the secret of generation is death.  So, death is the Knowedge of Life, and Life is Heaven, Life is Goddess.  We should do well to remember these points for the remainder of the Aeon.

 

So I mark out some special sources as references, into which knowlege was poured in a symbolic and literary sense, as my club is a literary club, I would drink with Poe or Crowley, dine with Lovecraft or De Sade, and party with Bataille or Levy.  Lord knows, I love these types, great Beasts amongst Men, perhaps- but we have more lessons of the mystical-mystery school, fondly referred to simply, as “The Mysteries” and there will be mystery plays, and fims and music, and this my friends is to appeal to the muse in every girl, the memory of every mother, and it is only right and fair that we balance the scales by appealing as much as possible to the conscious-intelligence and sense of that which we most desire, that which is hard won and fought for, that which is sought- is often enough simply, “Love” but that love may be extended though our Humanity to every gender, race, color, creed, nationality and person from every land of national origin.  It is the seed of Unconidtional Love, Service, Surrender, Forgiveness and a powerful mind and will that I wish to sow in your soil, my friend.  I wish to share with you the light, the truth, the good, Reality with a capital R, and grant access to Loving-Wisdom, and bestow upon you, personally if possible, a sympathetic understanding which will be like a transmission of energy, like a touch from the torch of knowledge to set your soul alight, and with this spiritual fire burning within you, behind your eyes and in your very heart of hearts, you will see clearly Reality, as I do.  This is my wish, that you feel what I feel, and make manifest what I wish for you and for all, minus any literal killing or blood-sacrifice if such things can be avoided.

 

The previous statement, though a matter of literary device, is intended as a mystical formula.  I have been granted a boon, and had mystical visions, and states of consciousness since I was a wee lad.  First, in order to clarify, were strange halucinations and telepathic communications, but the sense which I wish to convey is still difficult to put into plain English.   It is most like being in a void-place of the spirit, the outward senses withdrawn, and being one, like a star within one’s being, the shell of one’s host body only the outward expression, one’s projection of being containing as it were an entire universe, likely enough, or at least being in silouette like a window through the portal of one’s consciousness into space, the void, the aethyrs, or the planes of the mind and the unconsciousness.  So I tapped accidentally and automatically into this state of mind as an adolescent, and later in my teens, by drugs and occult meditation, and also by abstension from such things by leaning on purity and minimalism, as I had to make a journey through these areas like it were an abyss and profundity of knowledge unknown.  There is something wonderful and terrible about this being that I am.   It is only through maintaining the simplest, most basic, and most universally transcendent fixture of myself, which essentially includes this entire lfe and death, my sense of self as a conscious-intelligence, as a thinking, feeling human being, and as a Child of God, or of the Universe, and then God smiles upon me, and I am blessed.  Alleliujah. Amen.

 

It is fortunate that such conceptions are possible, and I say this without missing the pun, though the irony of the situation may not be obvious to many.  A man is born of woman, and makes much of his heydey in striving with other men for the attentions of some woman or another, hoping to repeat on a higher level the process which begat him.  That is, as sperm we vie and contend with millions of others, much like ourselves, and yet only one penetrates the ovum and germinates there in the womb.  It is, I believe, at this moment of conception that we truly come into being as a human, where our spirit and consciousness are bound to the human flesh for the duration of our lives.  Surrounding this event is a great shell of matter and spirit, in the ‘Nature of the Invisible’ but not so much matter as spirit, I dare say.  The three states of matter are Solid, Liquid & Gas, and I hope we will soon comprehend the nature of mind and consciousness, as well as spirit, but I must at least regard Spirit as an Element unto itself, in accord with my own experience and with the Western Mystical Tradition..

 

When I say that man is a being of clay and fire, I mean to suggest that clay contains solid, liquid and gas, or elemental Earth, Water & Air, and that Fire is rightly accepted as a fourth element unto itself, excepted from the previous three.  Now, remember that Air is any Gas, sans Liquid, but may contain vapor or steam, as the breath of man carries the moisture into colder winds to coalesce as steam, visible to the eyes.  Man has harnessed lightning itself to his purpose, and further, the element of the Atom which are primal components of our own being, but as we have tasted some forbidden fruit, we have been driven from a Garden of Eden.  Me, I still love flowers, but when I look down I see more hurricanes and the Cloverleaf of Industry, and I look through time, which is our Fourth dimension, for access to the Fifth dimension of the Heart, a level of conscsiousness which does transcend our current mode of thought and exploration and thus is limited in it’s expression.

 

I do not mean to belabor the point about the elements, with some pseudographical representation or modern reiteration of ancient thought, but it is self-transcendence as much as self-sufficiency, self-mastery as much as self-abnegation that is our current paradox.  So, paradox is truth, as much as perception is Reality, but with our intuition function, observing essentual dualites and the state of the world, the current mold of Mankind, we must reach beyond and find purchase, something money just can’t buy, is something freely given and received, simultaneously.

 

So it is a brief reprise to the ercondite facts of our ancient ancestors, whose wisdom is now much lost or taken for granted, having seen and tasted the fruits and found them wanting, desiring more and wanting more than any picture of a thousand words can grant us.  We look to the Source & Origin of all things, and even the beginning of this story, and recognize the cycle of cycles within that Holy of Holies, which I have not yet described fully.  The details are so many, the pictures themselves multitudinous, and each peice contains the whole. This is the realization of the Atoms of Adam.  A symbol is representative of the real thing.  A man is just one, but Man is all mankind.  This is the realization and the learning.  That we each contain microcosms within ourselves, that each of us is, in fact, a microcosm containing trillions of tinier points, fragments, figments, filaments, and then there is Firmament & Fundament, my friends.

 

I wish to consider you an equal, and have you regard me with the same respect I afford you.  Therefor I will extend to you on credit the trust and love I establish within myself, within my own little sphere of activity and influence, and make myself as transparent as possible.  When there are no secrets, but things which remain undiscovered or undisclosed, and our mouths mumble and murmur the words, we mouth the words of letters in sounds symbolic of things we can see or hear, taste or smell or touch, and make manifest higher dimensions in the scheme of the lower ones, by the numbers, than we can in fact transcend all dogmas and dilemmas, by way of conscious-intelligence.  This is my point, it is my very form and existence which attempt to balance the personal with the impersonal.

 

So, we may skip around, or take trips or tangents, but we must recognize something basic which is effectively the same for everyone.  We are all human beings on Planet Earth, and if you are intelligent enough to read what I have written here, which is the result of my labor of love, and hard fighting and striving for years, I have put peacefully and with resignation onto a page for your perusal.  May my work do justice to that which it strives to emulate or indicate!  May I be a boon companion, a coach, tutor, mentor, teacher, counsellor or guide to those in need, and may my work benefit everyone!  May all beings be happy! May all beings experience enlightenment and be at peace!

 

I say this to transcend at once the bonds of Christian and Buddhist, of Human, animal, vegetable and Mineral, and leap right across the aforementioned abyss, that I may beckon you from the Other Side, pointing at a bridge that I have helped to lay.  I hope to give credit where credit is due, and to obtain certitude and rectitude for my efforts, as it were a matter of human and spirit dignity, as well as karmic lessons and lessening the burden of those ties and bonds of both affection and other affectation which would harm or hinder, rather than help and aid in assistance toward some mutually agreeable goal.   Compassion and unconditional Love, or Charity, are remarkable traits to cultivate.

 

Every romance and daliance, and everything I like very much, from science and art, to flowers and birds, to food and drink, and the female form and melodious song, I like very much, but it is such an affectation which causes within me a great wonder and marvelous compassion, that leads to charitable work.  Any work is that which requires an effort, by some force of will, and some desire of the heart, or some fire of the loins, a lust for life, as well as a religious bent and a spiritual discipline.  A writer as well as a songwriter or a sculptor, as any artist or artisan may cultivate within the desire to be the best they can be.  This is the way we can challenge ourselves, and it is natural to share our gifts with the world, to show and tell others, to want for commendation and reward, if it is appropriate.

 

It is a matter of our society, in the way it is structured, that many people are egotistical and selfish, and thus the civilization represents duality at it’s most extreme and division between things that stand at opposite ends of the same poles, such as male and female, black and white, light and dark, and every subtle shade or extension of similar ideals.  It a matter of both altruism and an aesthetic which looks for good in evil and beauty in ugliness, no matter how stark the materialism, there must be something spiritual to balance it.  Balance and Harmony in all things, I always say.  Futhermore, even in a society of sociopaths, or the psychology of psychopaths, or the teleology of telepaths, the emanation of empaths, or whatever- I limit myself as I must, to have a Marvelous Oeconomy of Words, and not to quibble or bicker over subtle nuances, as I imagine everyone will read this and find out forthwith whether the proverbial shoe fits, or question and comment as to whether my hat fits me, but I would not have brought it with me from the dust of the grave if it did not.

 

Can mankind be brought back from the brink of extinction, where plague and starvation, war and contention of every stripe are made manifest throughout the World?  It may be that many more will die, as I am told that thousands die everyday of these ills.  It is no longer merely the environment, our natural habitations or the foment of our governments which are trifling and lame, but the system of our global viewpoint and economy, and the balance of power of nationalistic tribes, if that’s what they are, nation-states as tribes, and the cult of patriotism.  There are many perils and pitfalls to be avoided, many disasters to be averted, and there is a great danger in misplaced trust, values, ethics, property, finances, education, entertainment, convenience and all the rest of our modern pomp and artifice, if we do not at once awaken and arise to the formula of our common Zeitgeist.

 

There is a darkness of sorts, within the mind or spirit, where something is not accounted for, not duly recognized, not well-received or is ill-understood.  There is a danger for the Good who would strive in earnest to do good for it’s own sake, or to rise above their circumstances and become Great.   One danger is assassination of character or body by the jealous and angry ones.  Another danger is making a mistake and going too far, too fast, or using some power to wreak more deadly a crime against humanity and the Earth, rather than wresting such a power as this and using it for Good.  Now, how to establish the good in well-meaning and well-intentioned, as pure a thing as may be and put it on a pedestal, yet humbly going before it for all to see.  Well, one must stake their claim and make themselves as transparent as possible, I believe, and so to restate and reinstate this for both Governments, those of Religion and Politics and prove how they are similar and related, and show how it is better that one hand washes the other, and if you scratch my back I will not stab yours.

 

It is a brute society that will kill a man and take his property.  It is a brute person that will hoard property which is needed for the group or mass of humanity and wield force as authority against his fellows, claiming that they are not his kind and threatening their death or dismemberment, as well as their ostracism and disbarrment, should they point out the truth- that one man owns exactly what he came into this world with, and everything else is shared.   One must also ultimately share his wealth, as well as his health with others, and even his own body must become the common property by exclusive rights and rites in good stead, if he should wish to labor with his fellows, own anything personal, take a lover, or raise children, all of this is contained in the birthrites and inheritence of Man.

 

So the question and the problem remains, when some ill-gotten gains are the claim staked, and the war rages on, and the people are starving or dying of plague, and the society of sociopaths demands that we clamor up the sides of the pyramid and kill the king, for freedom sake, but at the same time, we should be slaves to that same or another king, well there is a terrible paradox.

 

So, the solution is to stop and question, why are we clamoring up the pyramid? Why are these ill-gotten gains so important? Do we not realize that many people exist in perfect contentment, totally comfortable, happy, at ease and at peace with very little, and with very few modern conveniences or contrivances?  This is the truth.  The solution is to ask what is the basis for contentment and happiness, and if the answer requires you to shun or kill your neighbor then you have an intelligence problem as well as a physical one, not to mention a serious problem with an ethical quandry.

 

The only way for our lifestyle, which is established by dint of brute force and the sheer bulk of inordinate laws, subordinating one man while allowing another willy-nilly to be above it all, and have it all, well this is the problem itself.  Meanwhile, on the outskirts and right under our noses, men, women and children suffer, starve and die, while others clamor for crumbs and scraps, and still others vie and contend for the coveted top-most spots, and those few at the top look down their noses or ignore the helpless and hapless cries of those less fortunate.  Do we agree that this is right, or that it is just the way of the world, or the way of man, or that this is what some God may have intended for us?  Do we not sense that there must be a better way, and that this will not stand- this situation is desperate and can not last.

 

How can a better way of life be established, not so much as a regime, but perhaps over the entire Kingdom of Nature on Earth, in a unified sense, presenting a unified front to the whole world, and the entire Universe, the local branch of this Galaxy notwithstanding.  I would have to report back that there is no intelligent life on Earth, if not.   Man, for all his strength, ingenuity, wit, courage, will, and classically romantic infatuations of like and love, should look to the simples and their virtues.

 

It comes back to the education of children, all of it.  Giving your child a toy gun, or a sugary snack.  When you become an adult, you have to unlearn and relearn everything if you hope to gain anything outside the stocks and bonds of iron ecuminical and economical rule of thumb, under which you wrestle with your brother trying to smash his head with a rock and rape his wife, or take his land, or you struggle in vain, never seeing and certainly never really being a contender for the belt, the brass ring or the crown of that Giant that holds you down.  Trust me.   Metaphor and analogy abound, but will never cover all the ground, burning and rising though it may be.

 

I dreamed last night that I was at a college party.  Underground was a prison complex, like a small school room, and on the walls were being written the beat poetry of the oppressed and downtrodden, represented in this case by a young black man and a rather attractive and scantily clad white female.   Upstairs, the lights in every room were red.  A keg was tapped, and rudeness was the standard format of sophomoric humor, directed at me who stood plastic cup in hand and a little dismayed.  There were numerous extraordinariily beautiful young women, blonde, brunette, redhead, raven haired, numerous of them, so that in actuality it seemed such beauty was not trivial but was more the standard of a norm here than not.  I was abashed.

 

A story unfolded about pornography being made in this very house, and paid, and how the beautiful girls fell into it and dismissed their consciences after a few drinks and some jokes at their expense.  The girl who ‘lost’ enjoyed the sex, and found that their video was highly rated on the internet.  She stood to profit in one way or another, either by the act itself in pleasure, or in monetary value, or in fame and recognition, if she held no protestant or victorian era modesty, vanity, or morality per se.

 

Another scene had explorers of some dungeon wallowing in quicksand, a handful of them, sinking under the sands which quickened at their struggle.  They argued and cursed, blaming each other and complaining until their mouths were under the sands, and nothing saved them, but I digress.

 

What can be said of sex and drugs, of war and crime and mankind’s folly to the impressionable young minds, and how can adults cooperate in an effort to gradually and definitively improve the ranks of civilization and society itself in terms of the educational reforms or the system?

 

We go back to basics.  We do not assert that something is a fact, if it is only something we heard or read, or we claim that it is our impression, our opinion, or our experience- or we issue some other caveat as a preface to any statement, and we review our manmade laws, and see how they fit with science and nature itself, and note what this all does in terms of art.  Art, especially, deals with every aspect and every mode of everything we do by choice.  The science is the hard fact, and the art is the furnishing medium of delivery and covering, the finishing touch, the flair for the dramatic or even an eye for something that glitters.  I envision crystalline structures in caves, or coral reefs under the sea as art, because I base my aesthetic on nature, first and foremost.  Then I look to extravagant and modest displays within the nature of Man, to exemplify and make exhibition down to a fine point.  Perhaps it is too fine a point which is rather weary by now of whether or what kind of education is important, or whether or not what kind of art or science is more important, or who is right, or what is wrong, or whatever.  Since it all goes down the drain eventually. We go from detail back out to some bigger picture, and I feel that this detour was not derailed, but that it took a hundred years in a way.   Dreams will do that, and the energies required for scouring the world and all time, since the dawn of man or prehistory and searching out every avenue of pursuit for more than recreational pastimes, but as work- this is a high demand and requires self-discipline.

 

How do we instill in children the need for academic and scholarly pursuits, and balance their schoolwork with chores or duties and responsibilities at home, as well as allow for and encourage extracurricular activities such as sports and games with friends, as well as give them free time?

 

It seems to be a major job for parents, extended by teachers and the additional members of a family to form a close-knit society with these ideas in mind.  The children are the future.  It is desire for sex that produces them, and they are generally shielded from the hard facts of adult life until they near adulthood, catching as it were only a glimpse here or there.  Again, the life of a child is fractional, and regulated by responsible Adults, and yet, when do we as adults graduated into full adulthood?

 

I found that when I uncovered the mysteries of being grown, I wanted to taste the fruit immediately, that is, when my body made it’s demands, the mind was willing but the flesh was weak, or else I was reluctant to stray far from the course of the known, but I did eventually find the courage to experiment and sample not only that which was forbidden, to some extent, but that which was hitherto unknown, and neither disclosed nor revealed to me, a youth.  Therefor, I posit that it is Nature who’s law should be foremost obeyed, as Nature and Earth are naturally our Parents, as much as the Sun and the Ocean and the Universe itself, aspects of our Kingdom in Nature.

 

We must needs share our Kingdom with plants and animals, but at this point, very little is being learned, since we are being spoon-fed and then force-fed all of our information, and restriction is the only rule.  Do this, because I said so.  Here is one example after another, and Don’t do this, and here are more examples.  We can work out plainly what is valid or justifiable.  How then, is it okay to destroy and pollute the environment and allow starvation and plague to kill portions of our species, and let the ravages of War destroy much that is created by Man, and deny him basic joy and office in the dignity of our intelligent species?  Perhaps these questions seem too large or far-fetched for our average person, like myself.

 

I know one thing, that profit and survival of the fattest seems to be the rule.  I sense another paradox, and I am not sure if it is fitting to elucidate this difficulty here.  We would have to dismiss all religion and politics and stay out of those arenas altogether, as their situations become so convoluted and so far outside the bounds of what we consider objectively reasonable, as does the activity of a war-machine or war for profit, when a sense of ignorance is pervasive, and the other part of the dream dealt with mind-control.  Several celebrities were present.  Three men sat in a room, their names practically on marquees, or in lights, indicating some level of fame or prestige.  So, these meritous and well-known individuals demonstrate some sort of mind-control.  One man murmurs, another mouths the words.  The third sat facing the other two, so that a sort of triangle was formed, with the ‘mastermind’ taking a chair at a slight elevation behind the ‘puppet,’ and the interviewer faced them both. The mastermind was a Guru of sorts, the puppet was a television pundit, or else this could all have been on a TV show or Talk Show for entertainment purposes.  The point was that Mind-control is an aspect of Religion, and that Mind-Control is Wrong.

 

So, our organized religions often repudiate any form of Magick or sorcery, although as a Nature-based Religion, in some sense, we in the United States under the Constitution and the Bill of Rights are entitled to practice whatever Religion we like.  I must say that we are at a stage of our evolution as a species, in this time, that we should set all of our differences aside, all arbitrary viewpoints and areas of dispute, and look to that which is again, Universal and Immediate.

 

Children might be given an education in Relgion to help define what it is that aids in the organization of society and the formulation of it’s laws.  They could have an overview of the various systems of belief which permeate various cultures at intervals in history, and come to understand the primal nature of tribes, and of belief itself- a combination of Awe and Curiousity which standardized symbol and superstition in terms of metaphysics, in an effort to contain the forces of evolution into the pattern of society itself.

 

They might be given some introduction to sexuality, as it permeates the human and the animal kingdoms, at a rather early age, as it really just comes down to either recreation or procreation.  Then at least that mystery is no more, and need not be.  Ignorance is not bliss, my friends, when your body and mind are howling from something just out of reach which is denied you, it can create serious emotional and psychological problems, and repression is not a solution.  Ignoring a problem does not make it go away, generally, and pretending that something does not exist does not mean it isn’t real.  So, denial is not the answer either.

 

Really, warring against our own nature and that of our fellows is not a valid solution, since destruction is not really desireable save that it make place for new creation, as really is the way of the World, and we would have our children become wise eventually, wiser than even we are now.

 

We hope that our children and their children and the generations which are to follow are capable of handling the problems we leave behind, and we should ever strive to diminish this burden and lighten it, leading and teaching by example, and being exemplary on basic principle should be our means.   Instruction should be specific, but education should be very general, but not terribly vague.

 

A symbol is only a pale shadow or representational of the thing itself, and a picture may save a thousand words, so a collection of symbols, with adequate purport, may be extremely useful in carrying on the viable succession of tradition throughout the ages, but personal one on one mentoring and discipleship, in the arts and crafts and sciences and trades and in the school of Life, really is the best way of carrying on a familiar legacy in league with the Earth and all Mankind.

 

2.

 

A pundit is usually a rather clever person, but they seem to harp on points and issues way too much.  Religious people, in their fervor, may be of the ardent and zealous disposition and paint everything in broad strokes, believing in some sort of Manifest Destiny, perhaps.  That some God created this World especially for them, and they are meant to inherit and rule.  Perhaps political types or ambitious military or business persons believe something similar, to themselves and their cohorts.  That divisions and distinctions will be made, that business will be conducted, that force and energy will be channeled, and that profits must be made and claims staked and turf defended, and all this goes back millenia.  Who can blame anyone for being true to themselves, when it comes to an all but unconscious way of behavior that is natural enough and more or less in line with the path their ancestors, in their infinite wisdom, carved out and set before them?

 

We are no different, in that we are doing the best we can with what we have, and I believe that people tend to do just exactly that- whatever they believe is right or necessary at any given time.  So, I also believe in cause & effect, and living in the moment, but also in planning ahead and staying ahead of the game and the curve, and I do not occasion for regret, due to my never-ceasing striving.  One should also dare to fail, and expect the unexpected.  Stand for something or fall for anything.  Think for yourself, question authority and everything.  Fear nothing.  Love everyone.  Trust no one too much.  Respect also follows the Golden Rule, in that if you are worthy and give, you shall receive.  Maturity is cultivated, as are patience and the tao.  The Tao, to me, which can be spoken, is the Mother of All things.  It contains the void, and all the elements fold into it.  It is primal force and power, and it is eternally calm and at rest, equipose, quintessential and penultimate.

 

People have gotten on my case about my overthinking and philosophizing, but they do not live inside my head, they lack my experience, and at times what I would concieve or conjure would include them and all their schemes.  I believe in an Absolute, though we seldom know it as such.  I believe in that which is All-encompassing and All-inclusive, though it is called by many names.  Simply put, we are all human beings living on planet Earth, but we must take a modern world-view that is comprehensive of history, culture, civilization, education, economics, the environment, government and reverence to life and love, in my humble opinion, and we must remain firm yet flexible. I would not have arrived at any conclusion by not drawing it then jumping there, but by analysis, process of elimination and deductive or inductive reasoning.  Now, I want to transcend Reason, as the mind explores it’s so many channels, and finds ‘spirit’ emotional, and labels everything it can, then is found wanting, and yet the body still craves what it will, of a physical type.

 

So we are back to square one, and the proverbial drawing board.  Whether this is business or education, there is a sense of learning and realization which is appreciable.  The handling of words as complex symbols in relation to one another, and the ideas themselves which relate to evidence contained in the environment, all of this is flowing though the so-called stream of consciousness.

 

I maybe called a ‘voice-hearer’ or a ‘stream-enterer’ in Buddhist terms, as I have taken a distinctly Eastern leaning approach in the last little bits.  I do find that my Western Mind apprehends and logically ascertains and amplifies and comprehends and coordinates and elucidates and processes much by way of analogy and metaphor, and without those tools I would not be able to take one step after another across the abyss of the unknown, nor build you a bridge, nor fashion tools nor share any knowledge, which is the experience itself, with anyone else.  Since the language is fashioned like tools, there is very interesting cross-section where we reach back into our childhood for the beginning of wisdom, in relation of all things, and people to each other.  Recognizing roles and archetypes, mores and models of behavior as a child might, we are at last adults and wish to assert our own freedoms and establish our rights as individuals, in relation to everyone and everything else.  This requires some knowledge to be efficacious, and language is our primary weapon.  What else sets us apart from so many intelligent species of animals than our articulated speech, written languages, and creative use of tools to huge effect.  We, as human beings, are the native masters of this Earth, but we must be careful.

 

We do not know how we came to consciousness, transcending the limitations of the animal kingdom.  We know that our growth has been exponential and that we have only tapped a small portion of that potential in the short time we have been the masters of the known world.  Knowing something is often accepting, respecting and being capable of some mastery.   Knowledge, as they say, is power, but power corrupts.  We must eventually, inevitably and invariably face the dilemma of our own situation in this world.  The theater of war, the maudlin displays, the psychodrama, the obsessions and compulsions, delusions, depressions, machinations of the mind, and the reality of symbolic ideas we postulate.  I believe that right government is altogether possible, and that my Faith in Humanity is well-placed.  I aim to please, and I hate to disappoint.

 

I want to thank everyone who has labored with me thus far into exploring these “points” and I pray that you find the thread of this dimensionality within your own being as a matter of course, and piety, and give it due diligence, and further the aims and ambitions I set forth here to boot.

 

I am hestitant to proceeed, but I can tell you where this exploration will lead.  Deep in the recesses of our minds, there is a place where we merge with the infinite.  Encoded into the cells of our being is the context of our entire personal history, so profound and complex that we must remain, for simplicity’ sake, on some established grounds lest we err, but should we do so let it be on the side of caution, lest we overstep our bounds or overshoot our mark.  So long as we keep the mark in sight, we may take several tries to hit that nail on it’s head.  Perhaps it is a hologram, but I see myself looking down the arms of a cross at my own hand, nail biting into the flesh, and my own body being crucified.  So, perhaps part of my role is in imitation of Christ.  Not that I wish to set myself up for failure, or to establish a regime, as I mentioned before, but in good Christian way as exemplifying and typifying those virtues by example which may make for a better future.

 

Some people believe in reincarnation.  I suppose it matters little if you buy into the idea of a collective unconscious, or the potential of thought-transferrence.  It would be hard to distinguish whether it was truly I who was nailed to a cross, if it was not my own fleshy hand today that were held to that plank and made to stay.  I do not want my hands either stayed nor forced, and so I will make this my point, it matters little either way, once we are beyond the basic fact of the matter, and the deed is done.

 

Some people believe in initiation, which literally means to begin anew, and the belief may relate to Christiandom, which uses the Crucifixion symbolically but does not have the sole and exclusive rights to it’s usage, anymore than they have cornered the market on God.  It is interesting that Catholic means Universal, and that God is also a symbolic term, but the specifics of Christ and Messiahship and the Man Jesus are well-woven into the tapestry of a Faith which is nearing it’s 2000th birthday.

 

It is obvious to me that Christianity is a combination of beliefs which led up to that point in history, nearly 2000 years ago, and that if Jesus were an historical figure, then he was at the very least worthy of recognition as a prophet and saint.  Even if we take the Son of God, or Son of Man idea and break it down, again for the sake of argument- meaning, we do not care to bicker and quibble over such trifles- we regard the symbolic use of such terms as a font of inspiration in a linguistic vein.

 

Like Moses before him, the Historical Jesus would have been raised in such a time and place where he could clearly have had the education and inspiration necessary to fulfil prophecy and make history, in a nutshell.  Moses came at a time when the Jews were captives and slaves of Pharoah in Egypt, and Jesus at a time when Ceasar filled a similar role, as head of state and of the church of state as well, in a sort of dual role as God-Emperor.  This would not do.

 

I’m looking for a similar example from modern times, but the closest I can find to the exile of the Jews or the need for any kind of messiah has to do with Nazi Germany, The Fanatical Christian Right as heads of state, and Fundamentalist Zealot Islam waging war.  It seems to me that the Abrahamic Religions are just as much in need of a messiah now as they ever were. Now, my theory is that anyone who steps up to the plate may carry a small portion of this burden, since so much of the current scene is obvious, but not all.  I do not intend to be nailed to a tree, but I carry my own sort of cross, which is the main reason why I lean heavily on these issues in the first place.

 

When I was a youth, I studied mythology.  I loved folklore and fairy tales, and all the like.  My mother is strict Roman Catholic, and my father was a Military man, and much of my time was spent with music, movies, comics, arts and entertainment, as well as travel, school, and playing with my friends, or exploring the outside.   I also enjoyed a sort of Asiaphilia, and my family lived on Guam for three years.  We got to visit Hong Kong and Tokyo, which is actually where I got some of my first comic books, toys and computer games, although my passion for those things began while we lived in South Carolina prior to our move.

 

I could say that I studied Mythology, but more to the point, I simply enjoyed a good read and a good story. Well, I began to see parallels between the Lives of the Saints and the Jesus Myth, and these other Religous fancies which were now relegated to the mists of antiquity of eld, and called fairy tales or some such.  I became seriously disillusioned when I learned that my parents were behind Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, and that we had been spoon fed such nonsense right alongside a very serious attempt to learn us in the ways of Christiandom.  This created some severe cognitive dissonance, and I began to desire truth more and more.  My relationship with my parents was irreparably damaged by these shocking revelations.   My parents also did nothing to alleviate my fears and worries, the anxiety and dilemma that essentially I had been lied to and decieved, and the notion that Christiandom was taken seriously, while children were told all these stories.  History, they say, is written by the victors.

 

Meanwhile, Buddhism and other Eastern religions have had their share of Zealots, extremists and fundamentalists, but the overriding theme across the board seems to be, compassion, goodness, charity, good deeds, service, mildness, honorable action, humility, subservience to a higher power, enilghtenment, inner strength and inner peace.  I think these virtues correspond totally to the Abrahamic and Western traditional concepts as well, once we strip away the bulk of outer trappings, take the blinders from our eyes, and overlook the glamor and bypass the hysteria and fanaticism of all Heathendom, Atheism, and Fundamentalism.

 

What we have left, after our education, is an overview, and some semblance of tradition, and physical trace memory, history chapter and verse, cross-referenced with every scripture, all the facts and figures, all the fantasy and imagination, and everything else under the Sun, or as far as we know, behind and beyond it.  It is not right to legislate on behalf of an invisible man in the sky, not really.  One can believe in a painful, burning, everlasting, fiery hell- or other place of reward or torment, but to perpetuate that is the actual sin.  One may wish to save others, but one must necessarily save his or herself first and foremost, and then extend a helping hand to those in need.

 

What we have now is the technology and wherewithal to get a sense of the whole world, and all history in a brief snapshot, encapsulating our entire lives individually, and that of the mass of humanity or the population of Earth as a whole.  The whole intelligence of Mankind directed in terms of art, literature, science, religion, politics, or any sort of endeavor which strives to emulate some higher ideal or put forward a better way of living for ourselves and our future generations should be considered worthwhile, save that it does not merely discriminate on gender or racial or even age based biases, and that it lends itself with conviction based on empirical evidence, more than speculation in metaphysics.  So it is that Experience is not just the best but the Only teacher.

 

Our experience may be of two types, basically the passive-observation, and that of active-participation, and these are linked.  Whether our basis is of the Time-Tested and Proven Effective Methods, age-old, or some experimental ingenuity on the part of mad scientists or geniuses, or even jackassery, the experience will fall back into one category or the other, primarily.   It has been said that those who can, do, and those who can’t, teach. There are plenty of things that I will not or can not do, but I would not presume to teach the capable in that which I have no experience.  I feel the same should hold true for Law, which is a central theme running through all of this.

 

Essentially, each person must be a law unto his or herself.  The rule of law is codified in extremis, to the point where people are afraid to cross the street, or not to brush their teeth, or have created bogeymen and bugbears out of every stranger and shadow.  This is not the Role of Saturn, the Parent, Guardian, Teacher, Administrator, Initiator, and Elder.  I said previously that we have the role of caretaker and custodian on this plane of existence, and it is rightly so.  We are moved by our desire for comfort and pleasure since time immemorial, and much of our society has been built up to afford us convenience and luxury throughout, at least to those who are fortunate and strong, or desperate and lucky.

 

Saturn is traditionally meant to represent the Ego, or Ahamkara, which symbolized by a floral ankh, and the bones, which I always visualize as being coated in brass and full of mercury.  Brass is said to be a hermaphroditic metal, and Mercury is the Trickster as well as the Quicksilver of the Alchemist’ Spirit, who plays another vital role in the Qabalistic process which is a constant topic of my meditation.

 

The other aspect I wish to bring into play with the symbol of the Bones, the Divine Ego, also symbolized by the Dove or Holy Spirit, the interplay and juxtaposition of zodiac signs, planets, and the Elements, along with application of breath and vital force.  This other aspect is called the Antakarana, which means a Group Soul, and it is symbolized by a certain image of a Box, composed of squares, four per side, and depicted as seen from the point of one corner.

 

Ancient shamans and wise persons of earth and nature medicine could mend broken bones, hearts, minds or spirits with their splints, drums, rattles, plant medicines, animal totems, fetishes, songs & dances, and other such primitive ceremonial trappings.  The Shaman would cast a sort of magickal circle around his or herself, calling upon the guardians and guides of the spirit world, while drumming, chanting, burning incense, or coming under the spell of some herbal medicine.

 

The Shaman is a predecessor to the only slightly more sophisticated Pagan witch, or Druid, a person who is essentially a Shamanic practitioner, but who relies more upon specific places, Deities, energies, or accents to their work.  I think there was very little selfishness in the original practices, as these persons were especially regarded as being mostly wise and helpful.  It is through the dispersion of tribes, development of modern technologies, and general destruction of the spirit of humanity in connection with the world, that such persons of medicine and lore have been given a bad rap, and been regarded with fear, superstition and that suggestion of insanity.

 

It is an overly materialistic society dependent upon the sorceries of technology and the iron-rule of bankers’ government which is inherently flawed, not the heart and soul of wisdom religion teachings which are attuned to nature, in all her aspects, and particularly keen on those things which heal, bring enlightenment, and peace.   Think about that.

 

Too many people do nothing more than work and play in this material world, and rely totally on the modern conveniences and contrivances of it’s latest inventions for their creature comfort.  A trip to the zoo, a camping expedition, maybe a safari or a few stretches and some Om’ing at the local yoga studio might be the extent of your natural world exploration.  Forget powerfully transformative inner-world experience unless you wish to travel outside the USA, unless you trust Corporate America or Uncle Sam to provide you with your daily dose of Television, Radio, Newspaper, Pharmaceutical prescription drugs, cops, crooks, and caveats.  It’s no wonder people are scared to eat, sleep, screw and drop a deuce, or cling to a job, a partner, or some fetishized object like a drowning person does a life-preserver.